Hope in light of a child: Story of Gülçehre - Doctors of the World

Hope in light of a child: Story of Gülçehre

The massive 7.8 and 7.6-magnitude earthquakes that struck Türkiye on February 6, 2023, had a profound impact on children. The quakes, which affected 11 provinces, left deep scars on approximately 4.8 million children in the region. Not only did the earthquakes render schools unusable, but they also worsened the economic conditions in the area, significantly disrupting children’s education.

Gülçehre is just one of these 4.8 million children who painfully felt the effects of the earthquake. Let’s read Gülçehre’s story, as told by Dünya Doktorları (DDD)/Médecins du Monde (MdM) Türkiye’s Clinical Psychologist, Duygu Üstdağ, who is working tirelessly to improve the well-being of children affected by the disaster in Hatay:

 

Dünya Doktorları (DDD)/Médecins du Monde (MdM) Türkiye’s Clinical Psychologist Duygu Üstdağ during an individual session with a child affected by the earthquakes in Hatay

 

That day, we visited a school in a village in Hatay province, one of the areas severely affected by the earthquakes on February 6, 2023. The road was long and winding through the mountains, and I found myself wondering what life was like there. Eventually, we reached the school. After my colleagues and I prepared for our mobile services and spoke with the principal and teachers, we asked, ‘Is there anyone you’d like us to have an individual session with for psychological support?’ All the teachers responded in unison, ‘Gülçehre.’ At that moment, I sensed something was wrong. To help her feel comfortable talking to me, I approached her as if we had met by chance during one of our psychosocial support sessions and said, ‘Would you like to chat with me? I’ve chosen you among your friends.’

That day marked our first meeting. Gülçehre was a child caught in the grip of chaos, surrounded by poverty and uncertainty. Despite her young age, she deeply felt the complexity of her life and likely faced harsh realities every day. The deep concern in her eyes revealed the traces of the difficulties and traumas she had endured.

She grew up on the streets, among ruins. The memories of her past did not bring hope for the future but instead pulled her deeper into darkness. Under the heavy shadows cast by the adults around her, she bore great responsibilities despite her small frame. However, I also noticed her strong will and resilience. Even while struggling to survive in a tent after the earthquakes, Gülçehre managed to hold on to hope for the future.

As the devastating effects of the earthquakes remained fresh, she told me she was deprived of the maternal love she needed most. Her mother had gone to another city with the sibling she loved, whom she referred to as ‘my dark-eyed sibling,’ and whom she had waited months to meet.

I listened as this 9-year-old girl stood tall, recounting these things while questioning the concept of ‘love’ at such a young age due to her mother’s behavior. I realized how impactful it was to listen to and understand a child. She had created a cycle of words like ‘I can’t see, she’s not coming, I can’t go.’ And she was right; at that age, Gülçehre had to question the reality of the maternal love she had once bonded with.

As the clinical psychologist for DDD/MdM Türkiye, I began talking to her about her education. ‘Yes, if I study, I can be free and reunite with my sibling because I will learn and achieve more,’ she said. I tried to explain everything to Gülçehre, who started asking about the meaning of love, commitment, loyalty, and many other emotions.

I think we should write down our feelings in our notebooks every day,’ I suggested. When I added, ‘Let’s see what changes over time,’ she was very happy because someone was finally trying to understand her. We did not dismiss Gülçehre just because ‘she was a child.’ Yes, she was a child, but her big feelings could not be ignored.

I have a brother too. We are in the same class,’ she would often tell me. Eventually, I met her brother, whom I hadn’t seen in any of the sessions I had organized. He was a bright child, more introverted, who didn’t talk much, but it was clear from his eyes that he was seeking maternal love.

The more I talked to Gülçehre, the more I realized that she understood she no longer had to struggle with these difficult conditions alone. She began to see me not as ‘a doctor who heals the wounds of our spirit’ or just a psychologist, but as a superhero who would save her from the deep hole she had fallen into.

 

 

Even when recounting her sad stories and traumas, her eyes began to smile. She now had a friend—a friend to whom she could share her pain and joy, who listened to her, and whom she could hug whenever she wanted.

She started telling me about everything, including her mother, father, brother, and grandmother. She even mentioned that her grandmother once said, ‘If you misbehave, I’ll give you to your mother.’ That day, I realized I needed to meet her grandmother. I met with her at the first opportunity, aiming to create a healthier living environment for Gülçehre.

Over time, each of our sessions began to create a deep transformation in Gülçehre’s inner world. It became a great honor for me to unlock her potential and guide her toward finding a purpose in life. Our conversations slowly began to bear fruit, and Gülçehre managed to nurture new hopes amidst her difficult circumstances.

One day, during a quiet moment, Gülçehre said to me, ‘When I grow up, I want to study and take care of my siblings.’ These words were a ray of hope, not just for her own future, but also for her family and the society she lives in. Her determination and courage deeply impressed me, and I felt proud of her. I realized that I had managed to ignite the light of hope in a child who had been left alone in the middle of nowhere, not knowing what to do.

I approached Gülçehre not only as a therapist but also as a guide. I discovered her talents, supported her interests, and showed her ways she could contribute to society. This process increased her self-confidence and raised her hopes. For her, the dream of going to school became much more than just a goal. On one hand, I was happy for her growing hopes; on the other hand, I began to question what more we could do for these children, knowing there were thousands of others experiencing the same difficulties as Gülçehre.

Thousands of children whose lives could change if only we could hold their hands and guide them correctly… Perhaps just a few hours could change the lives of a generation. This thought deeply connected me to my work, filling me with the desire to help and motivating me to do my best.

 

 

A letter written by Gülçehre, a 9-year-old child who receives psychological support from DDD/MdM Türkiye’s clinical psychologist in Hatay

 

‘Today, Dünya Doktorları/Médecins du Monde Türkiye visited our school. They chose one of us and wanted to talk. They chose me. I am so happy. Even if I’m sad. Because this teacher is a doctor who “heals the wounds of our spirit.” I’m so glad to have told everything and poured out my heart. I feel very relieved.

 

Photographs 

DDD/MdM Türkiye